No Sleep... maybe I should have read my own blog !!

I had terrible time trying to sleep last night and spent a best part of the night having ideas ....... think I over did the UKS site for inspiration yesterday .... had I have not been quite so tired I think I might have even got up at 2 am this morning to put my ideas into practice..... my mind was busy, Blob was active but my body just wanted to sleep.

I got about 3 hours sleep in the end..... Harry got up early to go and help a friend and when he told me we were covered in snow outside, although extremely tired I couldn't wait to get up and go with him. I love the snow... I wanted to take my camera and now wish I had as it was so beautiful ... and I have some lovely snow / winter papers which I haven't had a suitable picture to use as yet .... anyway by the time we had done all our running around and visiting parents etc all the snow had virtually gone ... O well we may get some next year for a few hours !!

By 3 pm I had had enough and climbed back into bed .... I think I was there no more than 10 minutes before I had dropped off .....

I have managed to jot down my ideas of layouts onto paper and I am hoping that tomorrow I may actually get a chance to try and put the ideas into practice....... watch this space !!!!

O My Gosh ... Where Do I Start !!!

Well as you can see I have not really been about on here for quite a few months now... the reason will all become very clear soon , but lets just say alot has been going on which I couldn't really talk about publicly at the time and because it was all so consuming it was difficult for me to find anything else to blog!!

Well I can now reveal whats been o so secretive and has kept me quiet all this time ....... I AM PREGNANT !!!! Wooooo Hooooooo !!!

We never thought it could actually happen for us as we had to have IVF treatment ... we started with DH having a small operation last June ... which was successful in locating some sperm and then we had to undertake the long and very emotional journey of injecting hormones daily and then hoping that I would produce enough eggs and then had to wait and hope that they would fertilise etc . Well in July last year I had an Egg Collection done.. they managed to get 23 eggs , 19 of which were good one ... but out of them 19 only 7 fertilised ... still a good number!! .. We had two embryos transfer back in to me on the 12th of July 2007 and then had to wait an agonising two weeks to see if one or both had attached ... but unfortunately it wasnt meant to be ... it was a heart breaking time for both of us, so we took a couple of months out .... we still had 3 frozen embryos for another day so that gave us some hope.

I went back to work and we got life back to 'normal' for a while and then October we had to make a decision as to whether we would try again using our three frozen embies .... well for weeks I agonise over whether I could face it all again .. the drugs and the heart ache if it wasnt to be .... and so near Christmas too :( I had until the day I started my period to decide. Well that day it happened I made my decision to go ahead ... and so it began ... the injections and the unpleasantness that come with those blessed hormones ... and then on 14th November 2007 we had two of the surviving frozen embies put back on board .... another agonising two week wait to find out. About 4 days before test day I had convinced myself (although deep down I felt different) that it hadnt worked... like a coping mechanism for the worst I guess.... well it did and on the 28th November 2007 we were told by our clinic that I was in fact pregnant.

I could not believe what I was hearing ... I was shaking and crying so much that I had to put the phone down on the clinic. It was just such a wonderful wonderful shock and the best 1st Wedding anniversary and Christmas present I could have ever wished for.

Well we are now 21 weeks in almost and all so far is going well.... we had our big 20 week scan and little Blob (as he / she is affectionally known) is absolutely fine and growing just as he / she should.



We decided it would be best not to tell Harry's older children until we had got to the 13 week stage as it was not only over Christmas that we found out and to be honest we were not sure how the news would be taken and we didn't want to ruin their Christmas had it have been taken badly and also we were very much aware that the risk of miscarriage is very high in those first precious weeks and so as not to have the children upset unnecessarily, should that have happened we thought it was best to keep quiet.... hence why I was not able to share our journey and then good news with you sooner.

You may now be wondering why has it taken so long to update ... you are 21 weeks ... well the truth is for the first 13 weeks I was really not very well at all ... I was having to continue with very high hormone drugs to maintain the pregnancy and then once I came off those drugs and was starting to feel 'normal' again I still could not believe I was actually PG, even though I have seen many scans and heard the heart beating. It was only really when we watch littl' blob yawning and drinking and waving its little arms and legs about at the 20 week scan last Tuesday it has really hit home ...... I AM GONNA BE A MUMMY!!!! and the added bonus is its gonna be with a man that I love and adore so much .... Harry is so over the moon about the whole thing and he is being so loving and attentive it is so wonderful to see. He felt a kick for the first time the other night so every night after supper when blob gets active we sit and have a cuddle so he can feel little blob.

Roll on 4th August so I can meet mine and Harry's little Baby!!!